What Happened in May
Joshua graduated from elementary school.
I have to admit, I was a little cynical about the whole “5th Grade Graduation Ceremony” thing, but it was actually kind of moving. I went to the same small town elementary school, and it was a very bittersweet, nostalgic thing to see how much the teachers and staff really care about these kids. It was clear they were going to miss them next year.
There was some major career upheaval for both the grown ups in the family.
Chris’ workplace drama is possibly the more interesting (i.e. “tabloid-worthy gossipy”) story. In the name of not getting him dooced for me disclosing too much private intel, I will just say that a longstanding stressor was removed, making his workplace a much more pleasant and healthy environment.
I spent most of May in the occupational limbo that results when you’re in the process of applying for a new job (and then the “last two weeks of school” feeling that results when you actually get the awesome new job and give your notice).
In May, it became crystal clear that we are a family in transition. Maddie is solidly a preschooler (and apparently, a coaster freak). Joshua is getting ready to start middle school. All four of us are taking on new roles and responsibilities, and learning new things. It’s definitely an exciting time.
Ch-ch-ch-changes
Well, the word is officially out.
Next week, I’ll be moving from LeapFrog Interactive, where I have been happily employed for the last two years, to Doe Anderson, as their new Social Media Manager, working with Jason Falls.
Pursuing the position is not a move I made lightly. After all, I’ve been pretty vocal about how happy I’ve been at my current workplace. Who could be unhappy while working with a group of people like these? (And hey, no creative workplace is without some occasional constructive conflict.) But it looks like I’m getting to move to a place with great people as well.
But in the end, it felt like it would be an amazing fit and a great opportunity. (Not to mention it’s a half hour shorter commute–a not-minor consideration when you’re a parent who jealously guards time with her family, and when gas is at $4 a gallon.)
I consider myself privileged to have gotten this new opportunity, and equally privileged to have had the opportunity to work for my previous employer.
“Things would be so different now if this had happened instead of that”
“I keep wondering, if I’d only done this instead…”
It seems like everyone around me is mentally rewriting the past and the present, trying different possible realities on for size, evaluating what is against what might have been.
I’ve spent a fair share of my time doing the same thing. Trying to cipher out what I did wrong or right, or what someone else did wrong or right, that landed me in this particular unexpected bend of the road.
That’s the thing about life. It doesn’t really care about your plans. So you can chart all the courses you want, but it’s much better to just be prepared and flexible for the opportunities that come your way. - Rebecca Thorman, Modite
I’m at a bend in the road I didn’t really see coming, too. And it’s good and scary and amazing and sad and potentially a little inspiring.
Between the “there” that was me “in the dark place” seven or eight years ago, and the “here” that is currently exhilarating the heck out of me, I had to spend a little time sitting on the riverbank, trying to figure out how I’d missed the fork I needed to get where I wanted to be. That’s a part of the journey that I would never discount.
But at a certain point, you have to put your boat back in the stream, and see where the river takes you.
Often, that unintended destination is a much better one than you could have imagined when you started out.
Strange Things Are Afoot at the Circle Kat
When my blogging drops off to the point that friends and family members (cough**jen**cough) ask if there’s something wrong with me, it’s probably time for an update.
So, yes, something is definitely UP with me. It’s good stuff–not necessarily fun or easy stuff, but good stuff.
It’s a long story (is anything ever not, as far as I’m concerned?) but the short version is that I’ve been hiding from my friends, family, journals, etc. All the people and things that notice or highlight it when there is a kink in your mojo, thus forcing you to face and deal with said kink.
The exact nature of the kink that’s been in my mojo is the long part of the story, as well as the part that is not particularly the business of anyone who knows me solely through reading my blog.
The thrust of the situation is this: I have been struggling for a while now with the issues of vulnerability, transparency, authenticity, boundaries, and intimacy. Yeah–heavy stuff, is it not? What is appropriate to reveal, and what is not, in which context?
My life has given me some pretty big stories to tell. Powerful stories. But anything powerful enough to make a difference in this world is like Pandora’s Box. Let loose without restraint, it can do powerfully wonderful and powerfully destructive stuff. My response for a while was to put a lid on the box. But that’s not really my nature. To keep things bottled in and boxed up.
Plus, what ends up happening is that keeping that big thing stuffed inside you keeps you too busy to do anything else.
So the Stories are going to start coming out. Hopefully, in ways that are predominantly healing and helpful. I’m building some frameworks, some contexts, that will let me send those stories out into the world without unleashing Pandora’s Box.
Things will be changing in my life in upcoming weeks. Potentially radically changing. And because this blog, and Internet Bard to a lesser degree, are reflections of my life, they’ll be changing here too. But hopefully, for the better.
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