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All Good Things.
Tonight is going to be a busy night for me. I’ve spent the last two weeks or so gathering my digital crayons and construction paper, and will try to get the new version of Internet Bard up and running whilst Chris, my dear husband and water quality dude extraordinaire, is off at college getting himself educated for the evening.
I’m a bit tired but still psyched after my first two days at the new job as social media manager at Doe Anderson. I have seen the birds-eye view of the work I’m going to be taking on in the next few months, and it is pretty awesome.
Here is the slightly sad but probably inevitable news: as soon as I get Internet Bard up and running, I’ll no longer be updating That Darn Kat. First of all, in addition to IB, I’m going to be blogging at Social Media Explorer, and most likely the Doe blog as well. I’ve realized that as things stand now, I can do two personal blogs poorly, or one personal blog well. I’d rather do one well.
Another part of that decision is the realization that I need to focus some real world time and attention on my real world relationships–rather than leaning on the social media tools with which I’m more adept–to keep in touch and connected. I’m already doing better about that. I think. I’m sure Jen or Jonna or Daryn will chime in on the comments if I’m deluded about that.
That Darn Kat was not my first blog, and clearly won’t be my last. When I look back, each iteration of my blog has had a particular tone and has covered a distinct phase in my life. Life in Pal was about adjusting to small town life after traveling the world with Chris’ during his Air Force career. Oh, the Drama was about a period of my life that was full of both literal and metaphorical drama (I was the drama team leader at our former church at that time, and it was a particularly tumultuous time of personal drama.)
To a certain extent, That Darn Kat was about my “quarter life crisis” and figuring out who I am, what I believe, and what my purpose is. It was about refusing to keep living out of my parents’ fears and expectations for me, and living out of my own dreams and strengths instead. Because of that, I think it was hard to let it go. But with all the changes going on lately, I think it became clear that TDK had run its course.
So anyway… Lost has had it’s season finale. Grey’s has had it’s season finale, and in the words of Miranda Bailey, “I’ve seen the bigger picture. And I can’t do everything and still have everything. So I have to, uh, let some pieces go. This piece.” Which means that it’s time for the finale of this blog.
Thanks for coming with me so far. If you’re still hanging in there to see what happens during the next part of the story, scoot on over to www.internet-bard.com in a few days.
See ya there. 
What Happened in May
Joshua graduated from elementary school.
I have to admit, I was a little cynical about the whole “5th Grade Graduation Ceremony” thing, but it was actually kind of moving. I went to the same small town elementary school, and it was a very bittersweet, nostalgic thing to see how much the teachers and staff really care about these kids. It was clear they were going to miss them next year.
There was some major career upheaval for both the grown ups in the family.
Chris’ workplace drama is possibly the more interesting (i.e. “tabloid-worthy gossipy”) story. In the name of not getting him dooced for me disclosing too much private intel, I will just say that a longstanding stressor was removed, making his workplace a much more pleasant and healthy environment.
I spent most of May in the occupational limbo that results when you’re in the process of applying for a new job (and then the “last two weeks of school” feeling that results when you actually get the awesome new job and give your notice).
In May, it became crystal clear that we are a family in transition. Maddie is solidly a preschooler (and apparently, a coaster freak). Joshua is getting ready to start middle school. All four of us are taking on new roles and responsibilities, and learning new things. It’s definitely an exciting time.
Ch-ch-ch-changes
Well, the word is officially out.
Next week, I’ll be moving from LeapFrog Interactive, where I have been happily employed for the last two years, to Doe Anderson, as their new Social Media Manager, working with Jason Falls.
Pursuing the position is not a move I made lightly. After all, I’ve been pretty vocal about how happy I’ve been at my current workplace. Who could be unhappy while working with a group of people like these? (And hey, no creative workplace is without some occasional constructive conflict.) But it looks like I’m getting to move to a place with great people as well.
But in the end, it felt like it would be an amazing fit and a great opportunity. (Not to mention it’s a half hour shorter commute–a not-minor consideration when you’re a parent who jealously guards time with her family, and when gas is at $4 a gallon.)
I consider myself privileged to have gotten this new opportunity, and equally privileged to have had the opportunity to work for my previous employer.
“Things would be so different now if this had happened instead of that”
“I keep wondering, if I’d only done this instead…”
It seems like everyone around me is mentally rewriting the past and the present, trying different possible realities on for size, evaluating what is against what might have been.
I’ve spent a fair share of my time doing the same thing. Trying to cipher out what I did wrong or right, or what someone else did wrong or right, that landed me in this particular unexpected bend of the road.
That’s the thing about life. It doesn’t really care about your plans. So you can chart all the courses you want, but it’s much better to just be prepared and flexible for the opportunities that come your way. - Rebecca Thorman, Modite
I’m at a bend in the road I didn’t really see coming, too. And it’s good and scary and amazing and sad and potentially a little inspiring.
Between the “there” that was me “in the dark place” seven or eight years ago, and the “here” that is currently exhilarating the heck out of me, I had to spend a little time sitting on the riverbank, trying to figure out how I’d missed the fork I needed to get where I wanted to be. That’s a part of the journey that I would never discount.
But at a certain point, you have to put your boat back in the stream, and see where the river takes you.
Often, that unintended destination is a much better one than you could have imagined when you started out.
Strange Things Are Afoot at the Circle Kat
When my blogging drops off to the point that friends and family members (cough**jen**cough) ask if there’s something wrong with me, it’s probably time for an update.
So, yes, something is definitely UP with me. It’s good stuff–not necessarily fun or easy stuff, but good stuff.
It’s a long story (is anything ever not, as far as I’m concerned?) but the short version is that I’ve been hiding from my friends, family, journals, etc. All the people and things that notice or highlight it when there is a kink in your mojo, thus forcing you to face and deal with said kink.
The exact nature of the kink that’s been in my mojo is the long part of the story, as well as the part that is not particularly the business of anyone who knows me solely through reading my blog.
The thrust of the situation is this: I have been struggling for a while now with the issues of vulnerability, transparency, authenticity, boundaries, and intimacy. Yeah–heavy stuff, is it not? What is appropriate to reveal, and what is not, in which context?
My life has given me some pretty big stories to tell. Powerful stories. But anything powerful enough to make a difference in this world is like Pandora’s Box. Let loose without restraint, it can do powerfully wonderful and powerfully destructive stuff. My response for a while was to put a lid on the box. But that’s not really my nature. To keep things bottled in and boxed up.
Plus, what ends up happening is that keeping that big thing stuffed inside you keeps you too busy to do anything else.
So the Stories are going to start coming out. Hopefully, in ways that are predominantly healing and helpful. I’m building some frameworks, some contexts, that will let me send those stories out into the world without unleashing Pandora’s Box.
Things will be changing in my life in upcoming weeks. Potentially radically changing. And because this blog, and Internet Bard to a lesser degree, are reflections of my life, they’ll be changing here too. But hopefully, for the better.
How to save a life
“Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere alone in the bitterness, and I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life.”
-The Fray
“Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.”
Jesus, Luke 9: 23-24
Sounds contradictory, doesn’t it? To save your life, you have to lose it.
I have, I think, a deeper understanding of this passage in recent years. My life isn’t what I expected. It isn’t turning out at all the way I set out for it to go.
Many good things I couldn’t have anticipated have come to pass in the last few years. But many bad things I would have done nearly anything to avoid if I could have, have also happened.
This is not the life I asked for.
Which is where the Luke passage comes in. The harder I try to save that life, the harder I try to get my own way, reality be danged, the less engaged I am with the life I have. The more I focus on what’s been lost, the more I find myself “alone in the bitterness.”
The truth is, the life I have is better than the life I wanted. It’s a deeper and more challenging life than the one I wanted, to be sure. It’s a harder life. But it’s a much better one. And the closer I follow in Jesus footsteps, the less I wander off following my own agendas, the better it gets.
Sacrifice is a part of life. It’s the nature of life on this planet that some thing dies so that something else can live–from microorganisms up through plants to us.
More and more I’m learning that you’re always sacrificing something to obtain something else in life.
It’s late. I’m tired. Let’s over-share for a moment.
Well, it’s nearly eleven at night on a Tuesday night. I was out sick all day today, and part of yesterday, and one of the side effects of sleeping intermittently for the better part of two days is that you find yourself up with nothing to do at odd hours. The Mini Sith Princess is blessedly asleep, and the boys are off to the airport to pick up Chris’ mom, who’s in visiting this week. So since I’m no longer babysitting the porcelain bassinet, I figured I’d write.
It’s been a crazy few months. At work, I moved departments rather suddenly and found myself trying to learn a lot of new stuff really fast. I also launched a new blog, and lost my old web host, and somewhere in the tussle, this blog got a little lost. Part of the web host crazyness meant that I spent a few weeks tying up all the remaining loose ends for coffee cup studio, which officially is no more. Oh, and a project I worked on last year won a Gold ADDY Award at the Louies, making me officially “an award-winning copywriter.” Yeah, I totally rocked the long red formal at the awards ceremony, but fortunately there were no acceptance speeches. Or cameras pointed my way.
At home, things have been a little freaky for other reasons. Mostly, it’s been freaky because it’s been so remarkably drama-free. We’re managing to stay on top of the basics and are starting give Junior Cheeseburger some much-needed and too-long-put-off attention and focus. (By the way, he completely ROCKED his last elementary school talent show. He did Queen’s We Will Rock You, and had the whole gym stomping and clapping.)
Oh my, the times they are a’changin’ aren’t they? Read more
I’m for you.
This is a very belated post in response to a conversation among the Hob Knobbers several months ago. I was in the midst of some relational conflict over some longstanding issues, and working through the book Who’s Pushing Your Buttons? by John Townsend (of the Cloud/Townsend Boundaries books). It was a really challenging book, because it presents two Truths that are the antidote to two corresponding Lies that keep you from seeing beneficial and lasting change in relationships.
The first lie is that you can change someone else, and the second lie is that people don’t change. Like all the most effective lies, they’re not so much absolute lies as they are misdirection and half-truth. Read more
The final solution to your crappy short term memory
…is to stop trying to remember stuff.
Yup, its time for another one of those “remedial GTD” posts. I signed up for Jott towards the end of last year with the intent to use it and Sandy to help me build my “trusted system.”
The “trusted system,” for those not familiar with David Allen’s Getting Things Done organizational system, is basically where you put your “stuff,” rather than trying to remember it all.
“Stuff” equates to all the random data that are hogging all your mental RAM: appointments, to-dos, plans, schemes, ideas and such like. Read more
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