“I wouldn’t say I was a planner, no.  I’m more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants gal.  Moment to moment, that’s me.”  Vivian, Pretty Woman

I spent ten minutes before bed tonight thinking about tomorrow.

I thought about where my keys, cell phone, shoes and jacket are.  As an INFP, I’m prone to misplacing any and all of these items.

I thought about what I’m going to wear tomorrow, and made sure those items were clean and laid out.

I thought about my daughter, whom I’ll be getting ready and dropping off at the sitter’s, and made sure she had a clean, warm outfit handy.

I thought about coffee, and set the pot to have some brewed when I wake up tomorrow.

I  thought about my car, and how much gas is in the tank, and whether I’d need a fill-up on my way to work.

Ten minutes.  It’s not a big investment of time.  And aside from walking around my house and looking for things, it was mostly just thinking, not really doing anything. Worst case scenario, I’d have had to stay up an extra half hour to run a load of laundry and pop it into the dryer, or run out for 20 minutes to gas up my car.  Technically, I could probably have done both in the same 30 minute wash cycle.

But what if I woke up tomorrow, and realized THEN that I had no clean pants?  Or my daughter didn’t have a warm outfit clean?  Or that I was nearly out of gas?

What if I couldn’t remember where my keys, shoes or cell phone were?

What would the rest of my day be like?

The “return on investment” for thinking ahead is not always what you gain.  Often, it’s the loss you don’t experience.

For some people, this “thinking ahead” comes naturally.  They may read what I just wrote and think “You may as well have said ‘I breathed last night before I went to bed.’  Duh!”

Others may read it and even that short description of a very bare bones “before bed routine” might seem overwhelmingly out of character.  It’s an effort, albeit a small one, and for us “non-planner, moment to moment gals” (or guys) we’re usually already exhausted (mostly because of what happens because we don’t think ahead.)

So we have to sell ourselves on thinking ahead.  Ten minutes of mostly just thinking is a fairly easy sell, and one that pays pretty decent, immediately gratifying dividends.

It’s a starting place; a beginning to build on.

After what was a fabulous beginning, the ill-fated Lost “Octagon Global/Dharma Wants You” ARG has definitely come to a close.  Participants received an awkward, if entertaining, email saying that because of the “global economic crisis,” the Dharma Initiative went belly up and had to be sold to the television show, Lost.   

That email was followed up by one from Damon and Carlton, with a link to what was the old “Dharma Wants You” site, which is now being used to stage exclusive Lost-related content, which former game participants can access earlier than the general public.  

As a marketing professional who works for a Louisville advertising agency whose particular specialty is building brand ambassador programs, I found this pretty interesting.  Clearly, the game was a failure.  But it did apparently effectively help them identify and build an email database of their show’s most passionate fans.  

I’m of two minds as to whether I think using that database for anything other than the game is a good idea. Obviously, anyone interested in playing the game was a Lost fan first–and getting first look at new show-related content is probably appealing.

Still, people opted into the database in good faith that they were providing information in exchange for an experience, and the overwhelming majority of participants I’ve heard from feel like the experience didn’t live up to expectations.  

Speculation is rampant as to what went wrong.  There’s the distinct possibility that the tongue-in-cheek references to the economic downturn reflects a very real budget cut that resulted in ending the game early. Another possibility is that the game may have been a victim of its own success.  I’m no expert in ARGs, but the number of participants Damon mentioned in their first video on the preview site probably made actually pulling off the game as it was originally conceived extremely challenging.  

I still think there’s some value in turning over a future alternate reality game to the fans almost entirely, and keeping it more lo-fi and story-centric.  

What do you think?  Is attempting to roll the email database generated by the game forward as essentially a marketing tool a good idea?  Bad idea?  Is there any merit to the idea that offering first look at what are essentially ads for the show is a compensation for the game being dropped while in progress?

I hinted about this a while back, but now I’m making it official.  I’d like to start collecting YOUR stories (and sharing them here in the “Bard’s Tales” category, along with my own personal anecdotes).  I’m interested in any kind of personal story, but I’m particularly looking for stories about events, ideas, and occurrences that:

• Connected you to your ideals, beliefs or values in a more visceral, tangible way
• Caused you to rethink or just revisit a previously-unquestioned belief
• Prompted a positive change in a longstanding pattern of behavior
• Resulted in a change in your goals and/or life’s direction

img courtesy sxc

It has occurred to me lately that I probably should get paid for all the personal coaching work that I do. Although, I have to admit, I don’t have any official “credentials” as a coach, and quite frankly, if I were getting paid for it, I probably wouldn’t enjoy it nearly as much.

So, from the nonexistent files of my entirely-unofficial coaching practice, here’s an interesting case study.

One of my good friends recently got promoted to a position where she is in a direct supervisory role for the first time. Because my friend is, I suspect, a highly social 3w2 in the enneagram system, and most definitely a Feeling type in the Myers Briggs system, what other people think of her has a profound effect on her sense of well-being.

She asked me how she can handle the stress of her new responsibilities while still maintaining a fun working environment. In other words, I think she’s looking for a way to always look good to her superiors, while having everyone working under her always like her. Not a shocking desire, given her personality type. Also, unfortunately, probably not a possibility.

People who are feeling types (whom I’ve referred to elsewhere as “high maintenance” people) have a rather alarming habit of putting off a stressful, anxious “vibe” that other people pick up on. It doesn’t always come out as a screaming fit or a tantrum.

Sometimes it’s a silence that’s tenser and more uncomfortable to others than a tantrum. In short, we sometimes “download” our stress onto other people. I think many of us have been in a position where a supervisor did this to us, and know that’s NOT a recipe for a fun working environment.

While it’s unlikely my friend will be able to avoid the stress that comes from other people being irritated or unhappy with you, managing her own anxiety so that this “download” onto her subordinates is minimized is probably an achievable goal.

She’s already ahead of the curve in that she recognizes and acknowledges her tendency to do it. Most people who have the tendency do so completely outside of their own awareness.

Another smart thing she’s doing is enlisting trusted, “safe and sane” friends to give her a heads up if she’s starting to let her stress bubble over onto her coworkers.

Lastly, she recognizes that not all friction in a workplace is bad. Some of it will be necessary, when coworkers or subordinates aren’t doing their jobs properly. There’s a difference between consciously applying pressure to an underperforming employee and taking your stress out on someone who hasn’t messed up.

If I were a real coach, I would probably encourage my friend to read up on her personality type, and ask herself the following questions.

• What do I fear will happen if something I’m responsible for gets screwed up? Is it a legitimate, realistic fear?
• If the “worst case scenario” happens, will I ultimately be okay?
• Threes often worry that they’re “all show and no substance.” Can I list some accomplishments I’ve achieved that feel concrete and substantive that helped lead to attaining this position?
• If other people are unhappy with me, can I reassure myself that it’s only temporary, and that feelings change frequently? Can I calm down my own anxiety in the interim?

You know, the best thing to do if you want to be a writer is write. Everyone knows this. Everyone says this. It’s undeniably true. Write longhand. Write on a word processor. Keep a blog. Keep a paper journal. Keep three or four blogs or paper journals. Do your kid’s English Writing Comp homework for him–you get the practice, and you get to stop listening to him whine about it. (Just kidding on that last one. Mostly.)

The second best thing to do if you want to be a writer is to read. A lot. Mostly the kinds of writing that you’d like to write yourself.

But that said, people always ask me what books on writing I recommend. This is a little hard for me, because quite frankly, I don’t read a lot of books on writing. I’d rather just write. Or read books that I wish I’d written.

So anyway, here is a list of books on writing that I think are worth reading during one of those moments when you’re not writing. Or reading good writing. Or hassling your kid about his tendency to use passive tense.

• Anything by Julia Cameron. I like The Right to Write, but I’m told that
  The Artist’s Way is also excellent.
• On Writing by Stephen King.
• Elements of Style by Strunk & White
• Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg

Okay, that’s five books.  Admit it–if you read all five of them in the next six months, it would mean that you weren’t writing enough.  Even so, if you know of a “can’t miss it, must be on the list” book, drop it in the comments.

Now, get back to writing!